The last thing I ever want to is to post superfluously on my own blog. Right now, I’m in one of those spiritual deserts that I rarely talk about except with a few people. I honestly don’t share much with some Christians because some of them overindulge on an unhealthy diet of fake “faith” preaching that is more hype than substance and blind to the realities of an organic Christian faith contextualized in a fallen world where all of creation is out of sync with Almighty God.
Recently, a kid asked me if God really cares when we pray. I told her yeah despite the feeling that my own prayers were not being heard or answered. I’m at a place where prayer about issues that directly affect me are bouncing off the rim of heaven as if I were a Los Angeles Laker. Yet, at the same time my prayers for others are answered so quickly that it frightens me. I rejoice with the people for whom I prayed but I do wonder…
Fighting a pissy attitude with God, I trudge through prayer like it was target practice, hoping to hit the mark so that something makes sense.
Does God give a flying fig?
I’m not the only one who asks that question. I do my job and keep my mouth shut, hoping to give my unfounded suspicions about the alleged untrustworthiness of God the cold shoulder.
Too often, some Christians blab on and on about faith without ever acknowledging that there are dark nights of the soul. I have had a few. There are times when I wonder if prayer matters or whether or not the sovereignty of God is just another theological term to mask the austerity and cruel singleminded of God when it comes to His purposes.
And yet I hang on to a powerful adverb (strange time for a grammar lesson):
Nevertheless, in spite of how I feel, God is faithful. God knows where I am and why I am here. I can do nothing else but be faithful to God in the pit until a change comes.